To figure out where I need to be. I’m not writing regularly, obvi. My bills tell me I need more money. And I feel stagnant, like I’m settling in so many areas of my life. I don’t really know what to do, and I know what to do. But for the meantime, I’m going to write a blog post and count that as a modicum of progress.
So, here we are. I feel a little like I do when I get back in conscious contact with my higher power — I write to do that, too — and when I start up after a long hiatus, I just am grateful when I am able to get something on paper, to say thanks for my so/smobriety and say hello. Maybe write down/pray for some names that are floating around in my head. Anything that says, “I’m here, I’m showing up, I’m taking some action.”
And that’s what this is. Something small, something barely noticable, something barely worth doing — my brain says. But it IS something. It’s a contrary action, and I notice those tend to pile up when I start them.
Starting over and struggling. Old news. But news.