struggling

To figure out where I need to be. I’m not writing regularly, obvi.  My bills tell me I need more money. And I feel stagnant, like I’m settling in so many areas of my life. I don’t really know what to do, and I know what to do.  But for the meantime, I’m going to write a blog post and   count that as a modicum of progress.

So, here we are. I feel a little like I do when I get back in conscious contact with my higher power — I write to do that, too — and when I start up after a long hiatus, I just am grateful when I am able to get something on paper, to say thanks for my so/smobriety and say hello.  Maybe write down/pray for some names that are floating around in my head. Anything that says, “I’m here, I’m showing up, I’m taking some action.”

And that’s what this is. Something small, something barely noticable, something barely worth doing — my brain says.  But it IS something. It’s a contrary action, and I notice those tend to pile up when I start them.

Starting over and struggling. Old news. But news.

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One thought on “struggling

  1. Get out of this pit of a city before we are officially Detoilet. Now with the new property taxes, businesses will be running for the border again. Our state is dead last in almost everything. My point is, it seems like you need a fresh start with a place that has a much lower cost of living. That’s the one problem I have with the post, and it is a problem for the country as a whole. Your response to bills is higher revenue not cost control. Even if you are cut to the bone with expenses here, there are a lot of less expensive places to live. I was on the golf range with a guy from Florida, originally from here. Said he would like to be closer to family, but got tired of all the Cook County taxes. He’s not the only one. 3 neighbors are off to Arizona for the same reason. We suck.

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