drink responsibly

You see the signs everywhere and the tag lines are at the end of all the commercials, sometimes with funny/interesting riffs on the overall message: Drink Responsibly. I’ve always sort of found the whole thing kind of hilarious, since drinking responsibly isn’t my bag. Seeing that on a sign or being told in a magazine ad or hearing at the end of a commercial isn’t really going to cut it for me. It’s a token gesture by an industry that doesn’t really give a fuck, in my opinion (see: cigarettes).

The other night, I saw another one of these ads and I realized WHY they are so ridiculous to me. Because they are like shouting at a brick wall or into an empty room. Both are like shouting to people/things that cannot hear you. I saw the ad and went through my usual mental machinations of “That’s hilarious, ‘Drink Responsibly.'” And then I followed it up with, “Well, YOU can’t ‘Drink Responsibly,’ but some people can.”

Yes. Some people can. I’ve seen them here and there. They leave before they’re drunk or just after they’re slightly buzzed. They know they have to work in the morning so they just have one or two. They leave mid-glass of wine. They sometimes don’t drink at all, choosing instead to just have a soda because they need to drive or I DON’T REALLY KNOW BECAUSE THAT IS NOT ME. These thoughts and actions are not in my repertoire. I don’t do it like that. The people who do it like that don’t need to be told, and the rare specimen of heavy drinker than does need to be told and can hear the message …. isn’t getting it from an ad on the el, the pages of Esquire or the end of a DiSaronno ad. Seriously.

So, thanks for doing some legal duty, liquor people, but … yeah.

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