coming through the fog and into the light

oh, man. what a long, lonely summer. i’ve been “in the grip,” as a friend says. manic-depression has been “kicking my ass,” as i say. but, i’m trying to get on the right side of things, which is a little ironic, as we’re headed into the dark ages. i can still have a little bit of hope as long as it stays warm. while i need the light, i need the warmth more. i can do rain, if it’s summer rain. i can do a night, if it’s a summer night.

so, i think i’m headed out of it. one way i have an inkling of this, is that i’m starting to get psychic flurries. maybe it’s because mercury will be out of retrograde on friday, who knows. but yesterday, when i came on the fullerton platform, i just instantly heard, “you know someone on the opposite platform.” clear as day. it was weird, because there *were* tons of people on the opposite platform. it was late rush hour-ish, and there was a night cubs game. but i’d been in that situation hundreds of times before and 1. never noticed the opposite platform, 2. gave it a cursory glance and moved on or 3. simply NEVER HEARD my inner voice distinctly tell me that i knew someone on the opposite platform.

so, i was intrigued to say the least. i was curious. DID i know someone on the opposite platform. i started scanning faces, and i was like, no, no one obvious. i started walking toward the front of the platform (i was at the very back). okay, maybe i was going to *make* this happen. i started walking, and looking for someone i knew. and there he was. tim g. he was talking up some girl — i don’t know if he knew her previously or if he was trying to make a ‘missed connection,’ but i wasn’t going to ruin his game. i’m an awesome wingman, and maybe that just meant not yelling, “HEY, TIM!” right now. go for it, g.

i was curious. how far down the platform did i work for this one? i *felt* like i walked down quite aways to make this one happen. i turned around to see how far i had gone, only to see i had barely gone 10 feet from where i started. so, my instant instinct was right on. i DID know someone on that platform. nice. psychic powers back up and running.

i told the story to a friend of my later that night and she made a remark something to the effect of “that’s chicago.” normally, i’d agree. but this *wasn’t* chicago. he didn’t even see me. we didn’t run into each other and wave or have a conversation. this wasn’t a random meeting or chance or even the scenario of two coffee clubbers having a god moment/coincidence (which seems to happen often). this was me, walking up to the platform and clearly hearing that i knew someone on the opposite platform. and then looking to see who it was and finding him not too long later. that’s not “chicago,” that’s psychic, baby.

and then, this morning, when i was waiting for the bus, i was in front of a gas station that had one of those clothes/shoes bins on the parking lot. and i thought to myself, “i wonder if anyone ever even comes and picks up those clothes. i bet they don’t. i bet it’s a scam. i think it would be a cool art project to install a small camera near one that took one picture every hour for like a month and see if anyone ever picked up the clothes.” mind you, i have NEVER, EVER seen anyone EVER pick up the clothes at any of those containers. gas station parking lots, church parking lots, library parking lots, random parking lots, wherever.

not more than 5 minutes goes by (probably less), and a truck pulls up. or some shit. they’re there to pick up the clothes. swear on whatever you want me to. again, it doesn’t come exactly like the kind of premonition you might think it does, but to me that’s straight up “i think about it and it happens.” i’m not making it happen, i’m just tuning into the energy of it.

now, what use for this randomness i have, who knows. i think the point of it lies in honing it, learning about it, expanding it. but it makes me happy that i’m starting to have activity, flurries around it again. it doesn’t happen when i’m depressed. so, that’s good. it’s a hopeful sign. mock away, i know what i know, and i’m not out to prove anything. i just wanted to tell my story.


8 thoughts on “coming through the fog and into the light

  1. I know how you feel. When Dumbo talked about unemployment not going up over 8% i got that tingly feeling all over and thought it will be close to 10%. Sure enough much like your truck it skyrocketed. Of course not his fault.

  2. I must be Methuzulah. First time since WWII no jobs have been creadted in a month. Can’t wait to hear his jobs creation speech. We are going to be in the fog for a long time so you’ll have plenty of company.

  3. Please check yourself in somewhere. Go back to Lakeshore. But go to somewhere where you are safe.

  4. Don’t you think that is a bit of an overreaction? Smuss has always been a bit intuative. I don’t think this is like “hearing” voices in the classic sense.

  5. boy oh boy still in a fog. How can buffet’s secretary pay a higher rate when she paid 0. I love the payroll tax thingie too. Let’s put a massive spending plan in place, which helps my Union base, then tack on the extension of the tax cut and say “if you don’t pass this you are raising taxes”. It would be like me combining an abolition of the death penalty with an abortion ban then saying when pinocchio Pelosi votes no “well there you have it she’s for the death penalty”. What a crock. Boehner did all he could to not laugh at that one. He did smile. Obama’s toast.

  6. oh shit, the kids think i’ve finally tripped the light fantastic. oh well, people have always thought the god guys were nuts crazy. that’s the way it goes. LOL.

  7. Oh you are definitely off the deep end with Obama. I won another lunch bet with a dear liberal friend at work. After his goofball union speech I said the market would go down at least 250. Sure enough ended at -300. His policies haven’t worked and have made things worse. Please oh please look at Carter’s years. The exact same thing is happening. At least I understand the people who hated Bush now a little better. It’s gotten to the point I don’t want see Obama or his perfect family anymore. I do want to see more of Uncle Omar though.

  8. Turner wins in a landslide. Dems hold a 3-1 voting advantage there, and it’s the first Repub in almost a 100 years to win. Maybe there is hope for the Flubbies.

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