December 12: Body Integration

Prompt: Body integration. This year, when did you feel the most integrated with your body? Did you have a moment where there wasn’t mind and body, but simply a cohesive YOU, alive and present?
(Author: Patrick Reynolds — The Knowledge Workers Survival Guide — @patrickcantype)

This is hard. I’ve struggled with pain forever, it seems. I remember being 40 pounds lighter as an 18 year old and still going to the chiropractor at 19 or something. I’m currently overweight, so that also doesn’t help matters when it comes to body integration. I also struggle to connect with my body — my mind, body and spirit/emotions often feel like very separate compartments.

Awwww …. fuck. I started this post last night and was going to finish it today. Then it got rid of what I just wrote. I don’t know. I think I said something about

1. sleeping all day today
2. wanting to ditch all my meds and start over but only if I could be in a good place with that … like somewhere where I could get help if not sleeping got to be too much, etc.
3. thinking about Great America and how that was probably one of the times I was most “integrated” — just losing all thought about everything and becoming one with my body, flying down hills, loving life.
4. and being depressed.

I don’t really know. Not feeling very integrated, I guess.

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6 thoughts on “December 12: Body Integration

  1. I feel you — my post on this topic (http://subjunctivecollapse.blogspot.com/2010/12/body-integration.html) was about me having a similar reaction.

    I actually think I need a new doctor. Mine, today, told me that laying on my floor and crying for two hours because I’m in so much pain is “to be expected.” Argh.

    Depression, yeah. It’s hard to separate whether the pain comes from being depressed or the depression comes from being in pain. Either way, I feel almost all the time as though my body is betraying me. I’m only 37, and I never thought it would look like this. đŸ˜¦

  2. Acupuncture costs money, and neither one of us have jobs (or health insurance, for that matter).

  3. OK if you are under a certain income level, you can get medicaid, and yes under certain circumstances acupunture can be covered.

  4. Even with the meager $1800/mo I bring in from unemployment (before taxes) and two children, I do not qualify for Medicaid. It’s not as easy as you make it out to be. Believe me, I’m a frugal person and if there is a way to get things done, I’m the one who can usually figure it out.But making such as offhand comment, like it’s obvious, to me means that you assume I’ve not explored the options. Do you really think I’d be in excruciating pain most odd my waking hours, and *not* look into every conceivable way to help myself?

  5. There was recent study done by “friends of Obama”, just kidding, but definitely commisioned by the Obama Admin that basically said there is a large group of people out there that really don’t know what they qualify for. If you have explored every option than you have. It wasn’t a flippant comment at all. My sister in law went for years before she finally realized she could get food stamps.

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