ring-a-ding whoopdee doo

ever since i was a kid, i’ve never understood americans’ obsession with british royalty. given all the time we spent studying the revolutionary war (1), it always seemed incredibly counter-intuitive that people gave such a shit about a king or queen, or more present in my childhood, the prince (charles) and princess (diana).

I guess prince william just got engaged. i guess he also gave his wife-to-be his mother (diana)’s ring. i know this, because people are talking about it on twitter and facebook. a friend of mine reminisced about staying home from school as a girl to watch prince charles and diana get married. it still seems strange to me. not only do i not fancy myself a big wedding person unless the people are very close to me, but i really don’t want to sit through hours of pagentry for people who a part of a monarchy that my country had to fight to break free from — basically, the bedrock from which this country was founded on.

so, it’s a weird combination of celebrity gawking and being thoroughly confused about why americans should ever be interested in this at all. why we should be swept up by the british monarchy as if this was some sort of noble tradition — rule by the divine right of kings. that’s just *not* how we roll (2). there’s always something to be said for a british/irish/scottish accent, but the tradition of the monarchy? no, i’m just not interested. if anything, i’m so baffled by it, it almost comes around to the other side for me.

i just go … so, he marries this girl who’s outside of his family and then she’s third in line? she could be the “head” of england? that’s how *they* roll? like charles becomes king, but he’s no spring chicken, because elizabeth’s just like fuck this noise, i’m not going ANYwhere, so by the time she dies, he’s not going to be king for long. so when he dies, then william gets to be king? is he the right one, by the way? so, if he marries this kate and he were to die — *she* gets to be the head of england, not his brother? does that seem fucked up? doesn’t it seem like i’m talking about some reality show i’ve been watching? (3)

yeah, i don’t get it. i just don’t get it. we don’t have a king for a REASON. so i don’t know why i should care about theirs.

(1) i was always hugely disappointed and then increasingly pissed as the years went on that no matter how long i had been in school, we never *quite* seemed to make it to civil rights or the assassination of JFK, anything on watergate and *definitely* never to vietnam. it just always seemed bullshit to me. something was rotten in the state of high school history. really? every year we got to may/june and never managed to cover these subjects? seriously? the ones that were going to be really interesting and relevant and recent history? the ones that would have huge conversation and potentially huge controversy? it seemed too easy that summer vacation cut us off at *just* the right time.

(2) well, that’s not the premise, at least. i’m beginning to wonder WHAT the fuck we’re up to.

(3) i’m watching amazing race for the first time — and i didn’t really even start from the beginning, beginning. but i’ve been watching for a little while now, and can i tell you how BUMMED i am that gary and mallory were eliminated last week? i wouldn’t have wanted to see nat and kat gone, really, but i can’t believe the trio of daters (nick/vicki, jill/thomas and newly engaged chad/stephanie) are still in this. one of the things i DO love about the amazing race that i’ve never really encountered in other reality competition shows that seems super genuine in this show is how from one show to another people completely trade positions from first to last and even within the actual episode people who you might think are completely screwed can make up positions or save themselves, etc. pretty interesting.

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