as i recently tweeted, there never seems to be enough scissors around. *seem* to be enough? it’s always hard to get correct subject-predicate agreement with plural-y nouns like scissors and pants. (1) anyway, i feel like i can look all over the place for a pair of scissors, knowing full well i just had one yesterday, and that somewhere in the place i own three. where are they? where are they going? why can’t i remember where i’m putting them?
I was cleaning a house today and i swear to you, i looked everywhere (almost everywhere, apparently) for a pair of scissors. junk drawer. kitchen utensil drawer. all over the office/s. all over the bedroom. all up in a huge glass container of office supplies. all around the living room. and repeat. didn’t these people have a pair of scissors? and why was i always needing a pair of scissors so much that this train of thought was on my mind? did other people need scissors as much as i did? was i the only one that was always and forever needing a pair of scissors? was it my office supply leaning ways?
the guy i was cleaning house for came home for a bit. i said “do you have a pair of scissors?” he said, “yes.” turns out they were in the bathroom. the only place i hadn’t thought to look. the bathroom? yet, i have a couple of pairs of scissors in *my* bathroom, too, now that i think about it. what is it with the scissors?
who knows. a friend on twitter said this: “so it’s less that there’s never enough, and more that the scissors you buy are elusive. you need non-sneaky ones.” i guess so, erin. i guess so.
(1) i love the word pants. it’s one of my favorite words of all time. i don’t really even know why. i just know it’s so satisfying and funny and lovely. pants. pants. thanks for the pants.(2)
(2) a reference to a christmas episode of mystery science theater. i can’t find it anywhere online. sigh.