mystery of the universe

as i recently tweeted, there never seems to be enough scissors around. *seem* to be enough? it’s always hard to get correct subject-predicate agreement with plural-y nouns like scissors and pants. (1) anyway, i feel like i can look all over the place for a pair of scissors, knowing full well i just had one yesterday, and that somewhere in the place i own three. where are they? where are they going? why can’t i remember where i’m putting them?

I was cleaning a house today and i swear to you, i looked everywhere (almost everywhere, apparently) for a pair of scissors. junk drawer. kitchen utensil drawer. all over the office/s. all over the bedroom. all up in a huge glass container of office supplies. all around the living room. and repeat. didn’t these people have a pair of scissors? and why was i always needing a pair of scissors so much that this train of thought was on my mind? did other people need scissors as much as i did? was i the only one that was always and forever needing a pair of scissors? was it my office supply leaning ways?

the guy i was cleaning house for came home for a bit. i said “do you have a pair of scissors?” he said, “yes.” turns out they were in the bathroom. the only place i hadn’t thought to look. the bathroom? yet, i have a couple of pairs of scissors in *my* bathroom, too, now that i think about it. what is it with the scissors?

who knows. a friend on twitter said this: “so it’s less that there’s never enough, and more that the scissors you buy are elusive. you need non-sneaky ones.” i guess so, erin. i guess so.

(1) i love the word pants. it’s one of my favorite words of all time. i don’t really even know why. i just know it’s so satisfying and funny and lovely. pants. pants. thanks for the pants.(2)

(2) a reference to a christmas episode of mystery science theater. i can’t find it anywhere online. sigh.

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2 thoughts on “mystery of the universe

  1. My family is constantly doing using either the wrong scissors or not putting the scissors back.

    It’s simple:

    The kitchen shears are in the knife block. That means knife rules apply. You cut, wash, dry and replace.

    The utility scissors are in the kitchen tool drawer. Put them back when you are done and put the cap back on.

    The paper scissors are in the secretary, put them back when you are done.

    Sewing scissors and craft scissors are not my responsibility. If you can’t keep them in the sewing kit or craft box, I can’t help you find them.

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