dread

i don’t know why i said i’d do this bootcamp.  it’s at noon, which seems reasonable, given i don’t have a job (and are people doing this on their lunch breaks?), but honestly, there’s lots of times i get UP at noon. and even when i get up earlier, a lot of times i don’t eat until 2 pm or something. something tells me that won’t fly. and something tells me that it’s hard for me to get down breakfast and hard for me to eat three meals and hard for me to sleep and get up and something tells me i better get a grip on this shit if i want this bootcamp to not be a shithole nightmare.

i. am. scared. and of course, i’m still awake.  okay. time for meds and something to eat? i don’t know. i’m telling you. the last thing i ate was fish and chips and a strawberry smoothie at FOUR O’CLOCK …oh, wait. and a rice krispie at SEVEN.  and … it’s one in the morning.  my eating schedule is completely FUCKED.  i don’t know what to do.  so, i’m hungry now and i don’t know what to eat and i’m going to wake up with my blood sugar all low which makes me all nauseated and i don’t feel like eating breakfast and blah!

anyway … wish me luck, people. wish me luck.

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