weird priorities

i’ve fallen right back into the terrible habit of staying up until 4 am and sleeping until 1 pm. it’s horrible on me, and i need to rectify it. needless to say, when people call at noon, it shouldn’t be a hardship for me to be up and around and talking to them, regardless of the fact that i don’t have a job.

however, my parents have also gotten strange as they have gotten older. the things they remember to tell me versus the things they don’t is so arbitrary. in the past, we ran into some conflicts when i would find out that some things i thought were pretty important (e.g., health issues of theirs) were just left out of conversation. whether intentional or by accident was never quite unclear, but at some point we had a conversation and that started to change. they’ve gone out of their way to make sure i know about this medical procedure or that particular illness. at least … sort of.

it was always made clear to me at a young age that lies of omission were exactly that — lies. but, i guess once you make the rules, you’re allowed to break them. that’s how it’s always seemed to me. whether in an english paper or by being a police officer, there are just times when people who are there to uphold the rules just get to decide when they apply to them and when they don’t.

but for the most part, my parents seem to genuinely try to keep me posted on what’s going on with them. to that end, when my phone rang the other morning, it was my mom telling me that my dad was going through some papers and he wanted to throw something away, but he wanted to make sure that he had told me something that was written down on a scrap he wanted to toss. did he tell me that he ran into my old grade school classmate melissa and that she was now on facebook(1) and this was her married name? why yes, he did. or if he didn’t, it didn’t matter, because we were now facebook friends, so i guess all’s well that ends well. so, great. thanks for the call. i guess i should get up because it’s noon-thirty.

and then, right before he gets off, he says, “oh, and aunt laurie died.” now, my aunt laurie is actually my GREAT-aunt laurie, who i probably have seen once (maybe twice) in my life. my grandma, who has been dead three years now (how did that happen!?) was one of ten. i think laurie was the youngest and had been living in arizona for years and years. i guess she recently died. oh. i’m not heartbroken or anything, but it’s boggling to me how you can call and ask me something about some random-ass scrap of paper — first thing on your mind — but it totally escapes you to tell me that a blood relative has died. WHA?

i gave him some shit about it. i was like … dude. really? you call about the facebook reminder, but you forget to tell me a blood relative died? slip that one in as you’re about ready to hang up. “kay, love you, oh by the way, aunt laurie’s dead.” he laughed. he realized how ridiculous it sounded. but it’s that kind of shit where i’m like. what the hell’s happening to you guys? and he drinks and he’s WAY more on top of his mental faculties than my mom is! it’s worrisome, to say the least.

but what will be, will be, and i just pray they are happy and healthy and enjoying their life. that’s all.

(1) my friend, adam, who is on facebook and does the deal, is convinced that there is no conversation these days where facebook doesn’t get referenced. even in 12-step meetings, he says, there’s at least one point where it gets mentioned in a lead or a comment. it’s pretty funny, i think.


One thought on “weird priorities

  1. that reminds me of a story an old friend of mine tells where the exact words to tell her that a relative had died was that “Aunt So&So kicked the bucket”. And she was like – when is that ever an acceptable way of telling someone news like that?!

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