1. i have a picture in this book, “we feel fine.” — that is, a picture *of* me is in this book. it’s a picture of me while i’m sick, weirdly enough, so it’s not really super flattering or anything. but i got an email from the authors asking me if they could use my picture from flickr awhile ago. i consented and sent them a release form. they kept in contact with me and promised me a copy of the book when it was done. i received it yesterday! it’s way cool. so, go buy one and check it out! p.s. the caption “i feel good about feeling bad,” is the title of the photo on flickr, i think, and i can’t really remember why i was thinking that.
2. in about a month, if i stay the course, i’ll have eight years drink and drug free. that’s sort of silly. i always think that it’s sort of silly. how ridiculous is that? sometimes, i take it for granted — i’m just sober. that’s just what i do. that’s who i am and who i associate with and that’s the life i live. but, really, that’s not who i was. it was the opposite of everything i stood for. i wouldn’t have thought that and i would have been offended if you would have suggested that my life revolved around drinking and drugs. i would have been VERY offended. i was a ‘recreational’ drug user. but looking back, i realize that a lot of my life was centered around it. shockingly, laughingly, tragically so.
but today, as i went into the refrigerator to get a diet coke to supplement the awesome cucumber/tomato/walnut/chicken/balsamic salad i created, i realized that there was and had been a shit ton of beer in the fridge for quite some time after my roommate had a few parties in the last few weeks. and it occurred to me that i just don’t notice it. i don’t think about it. i don’t really ever think about it — not that i never think about drinking or i don’t notice people drinking or i don’t ever think about wanting a drink or what it would be like to drink — but on a moment to moment basis, day to day, i don’t think about it. i don’t come home and think about what i’m going to make to drink. my weekends aren’t planned around drinking. my social activities aren’t scheduled around drinking or what drugs i can get or will have. i just don’t consider it.
and i just didn’t do that. i had nothing to do with it. i didn’t work at it or struggle at it or do something really hard to get to that point. it just happened. just bizarro.
3. we’re at the end of a decade. what the fuck. how did that happen? it was just the start of a millenium and now we’re at the end of the decade. it’s the time for the end of year “best of” lists but also end of DECADE “best of” lists. so weird — interesting to see a lot of these and realize — oh! that was still this decade? and remember stuff and realize it was only two years ago or it was over seven years ago! it’s just interesting to watch time fly by.
i guess that’s all for now. random. random.