i feel stupid and litigious

i just saw a commercial for a new video game where they were trying to make a real hyperbolic statement/joke by showing some guy in a helmet and meat shorts about ready to face a cage of snarling mean-ass dogs who are obviously going to go right for his meat encased crotch as a test of his “reflex,” which might be what the game is called or something.  i guess it’s a racing game. where you need rapid reflexes.

SO.  in the very small print next to this computer graphic guy in meat shorts facing computer graphic snarling dogs in a cage about ready to jaw on his junk if he doesn’t move fast enough, it says:  “Do Not Attempt.” 

really.  REALLY?  this is where our society has come to?  we’re that stupid and that sue-happy that our commercials have to say that?  do not attempt?  do not attempt to wear steak boxers and challenge three attack doberman pinschers to a duel of reflex?  

okay.  let’s say after watching this commercial at 2 am and a few bowls of killer weed, there are plenty of people stupid enough to hunt down the requisite materials and ATTEMPT this.  and they get their balls eaten off. … and they blame the video game company for … what? being fucking dumbasses?  

okay. let’s say they find a greedy ass lawyer to take this case.  what judge allows this to be brought to trial as a viable lawsuit? what judge says … “yeah.  this totally could be the video game company’s fault.”

okay.  let’s say you find a corrupt or stupid judge to push this one through.  WHAT JURY says that the video game company IS at fault here?  

what the fuck?  how have we gotten to the point where companies feel the need to clarify that constructing beef boxers and and testing your mettle against some angry, hungry dogs SHOULD NOT happen? ever?

man. mindboggling shit at 2:30.  maybe i’m the one who’s stupid for even giving this a second thought.


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