talking about my friend, mike, on facebook and that it’s been three months since he’s died. a friend pops in to tell me that 100 days are important to buddhists. i’m not thinking and ask him why he’s referencing that, but he’s a math guy and points out that three months is roughly 100 days. oh yeah, i guess it is.

he says that the last day is sort of the last day for the “bridge” to be there, if that means anything to me. i tell him that it doesn’t so much, because i’m in a flurry state right now. he says this, which i find to be extremely hilarious:

“really pretty and you make people want to ski?”

had to share that with you. i’d love it if that’s what i meant. how would that look? how would i make people want to ski? and truthfully … i’m NOT FISHING FOR COMPLIMENTS, because they make me feel weird and awkward anyway, but i’d love it if i had one solid person in my life that i knew in my gut thought i was “really pretty.” sexy would be fun, and the end-all-be-all is someone who will forever think i’m beautiful. but “really pretty” would be pretty stellar.

so now i digress into two different things. you can choose your own adventure.

A. so i have psychic abilities and they come in waves. it’s always there, but sometimes, it gets heightened or i sense it gets turned on more. it’s streaky sometimes. i know the light is turned on or the channel is more open or … there’s just flurries. that’s what i mean by that. i just sense my energetic stuff like that. when things are fucked up, it’s like static and when things are on, it’s like flurries and it’s just how i roll. i’m in a flurry pattern.

B. i’ve had arguments with people before about how they just expect people to naturally have their love and attraction fade for one another as they stay married or whatever. and i don’t doubt that love changes and attraction changes and there’s nothing wrong with that. i also don’t doubt that marriage and relationships are hard work and sometimes there’s internal struggles and questions and you have to really stay the course and do work and pray or work together or whatever. it’s not always going to be roses and stuff. i also think that there’s ebbs and flows to stuff .. all kinds of stuff, too. friendships, work, sex … that happens everywhere in life. but i’ve always maintained that there ARE relationships and i can have one, there IS one out there for me, that you can be as in love and as attracted to each other as the day you met until the end … no matter how long that is. i just believe that. i know you can be having hot thoughts about each other until the day you die, period. and i came across this postsecret this week. and i was just thrilled. YAY for love. and attraction. and sex. and romance. yay.

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