that’s my mantra for the year. and it’s so fucking hard already. there’s a couple of situations that i want changed and i want to run to my new sponsor and say, ‘what do you think i should do about this? how do you think i should approach this? what do you think i should say here? should i address this particular aspect …… OF THIS PERSON’S BEHAVIOR?” cause that’s what it really is boiling down to. i want to tell someone/s that they aren’t doing what i want them to or acting how i want them to or living up to my expectations or whatever.
FUCK! and i just decided the other day that this year was going to be about ‘my side of the street.’ i was going to work on me. ME. my shit. my insides, my outsides, my stuff. and every time i start going down that path and i really want to start getting going about that and this and him and her or them and those and i hear that voice. ‘my side of the streeeet!!!’
right. my side of the street. my side of the street. and then it’s sort of like i’m just marching along, trying to keep an even pace while on a run or something. and that’s the weird thing, too. i keep having these visions of me on a run or something. and i don’t know if that’s my friend, jason, putting this crazy bullshit in my head or what. i wish he wouldn’t have done that. i’m NOT a runner. i’m not even a jogger. for fuck’s sake.
i am now attracting to me the following things, however: an ipod and a treadmill. i bought the good shoes, now i need something to walk on. when it’s oh, negative fucking 10. i’m sick of feeling overweight and gross. i need to get going here.
i need to keep walking on my side of the street.