something something

thought i’d get the last post out of first place. still not feeling great, but a little better, i suppose. possibly. who knows. it all could turn on a dime again, really. who the fuck am i kidding?

i should probably get out and do some grocery shopping so that i have some food in the house for the upcoming week. i think after i do this blog post, that’s what i will do. that sounds like a grand plan. if i’m being really smart, i’ll walk over to the grocery store that’s sort of near my house to do it. that way, i can keep to my idea that i want to get more exercise in.

fuck. i’m sitting here thinking, but i really don’t feeeeel like it. oh well, i have to be resigned to the fact that i probably am never going to feeeeel like it at *first.* that’s part of the deal, it seems from people who have gone before me. i went and bought real walking shoes the other day and i am going to use them, damnit! so, going to get some good food for cooking at home seems like a good plan and walking there seems like an even better plan.

one thing that is sort of tripping me up right now is that i’m reading this book “animal, vegetable, miracle” by barbara kingsolver and i can’t stop thinking about bob. it’s all about a woman who moves back to the place near where she grew up to a place her husband had bought a while back and they basically have a farm and they grow vegetables and they raise some livestock and they trade with people. she talks about heirloom vegetables and other stuff. eating local and in season and how so much has been fucked with with industrial farms and stuff. stuff i’ve know about on some levels but that i’m getting more detail on and in a more personal way with relating to this family.

some of it i could be more proactive about, especially when the farmer’s markets get back into swing. i know there are people in the city who do more active localvore things and do go in on stuff by doing co-op things and whatnot. but i know bob has made fun of me for a LONG time by calling me an opportunivore, meaning that i will eat whatever, as long as it’s in front of me, packaged, and ready to eat. and i’ve always just sort of been okay with that … just been like, ‘yep! that’s what i am.’ and as i read this book, i realize that i would be a lot healthier (i won’t lie, right now, it’s still all about vanity and weight) if i ate more like we used to eat when people farmed and stuff.

and this vague notion i have that we are coming up on some sort of ‘end of the world as we know it thing’ and will have to go back to some weird breakdown of society where we’re all farming and agrarian and bartering and whatever is really starting to hit home more. especially when i read this book and i see that we used to have SO many more varieties and species of things like tomatoes and potatoes and turkeys and chickens and stuff like that. things that were bred out because they weren’t as economical when you’re running some crazy ass industrial farm with hundreds and thousands of things and you’re doing things all against nature and you don’t have time for the natural selection of things.

and the more we do that, the more we have to artificially use antibiotics and that creates superstrains and so on and so on. and just like purebred dogs start to develop certain BAD things along with the traits they are known for that are wanted for show, where mutts are more healthy and thrive more just based on the way genetics and evolution works, so does this work for livestock. if left to their own devices, eventually animals start to cultivate the best traits among them as they adapt to what is around them.

i’ve always thought that genetic engineering is NOT COOL. but of course, i know i eat products with that in it EVERY DAY. all the products with the high fructose corn syrup and all the soy that is grown in this country are made with corn and soy that are made by 4-6 companies, all of which use genetic engineering — ranging from having genes in them that ensure that the seeds can withstand the pesticide made by the same company, to a suicide gene that will kill the seed and keep it from growing again so the farmer has to buy more for the crop the next year. that my friends, is FUCKED UP.

so, i’m reading this and i’m probably not even halfway done and i’m getting weirded out because i just don’t know if i can go all that whole hog. i’m not sure if i can get all local stuff here in the city. or really dedicate myself that much. i know i need to start small, because i’m the type of person who still has to dedicate herself to cooking at home and really preparing healthy meals. but i won’t lie and say that i don’t have this stuff in mind.

as i read this stuff, i know that bob and my other friend, laura, are the ones i’m going to turn to if the world all turns upside down and we really all go .. shit, why did we get rid of all the farmers? anyway, it’s all pretty fascinating. makes *me* think twice, at least.

okay. i need to rev myself up for this.

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