rabbits and lions

i saw three winter rabbits tonight. it just made me feel good. i like to see rabbits, because i’m still on the rabbit = god sign thing. especially when i think, “i hope i see some rabbits” and then i see three!!, that’s awesome.

i talked with someone at my roommate’s party at our house tonight, who said that he was now an atheist after being a practicing catholic. i talked to him and asked him how that arc came about. as he talked, i realized just how much of a god girl. that makes me feel good and weird all at the same time. largely, it just makes me feel content and happy. as long as i don’t intellectualize it, i’m thrilled about it, personally. sometimes as someone who likes to ‘think,’ i get ashamed or embarrassed about it. but, the fact of the matter is this: just as i meet more and more people who are social drinkers, i meet more and more people who i consider my peers that are god-believers, for lack of a better term.

so, whatever that’s worth. on to lions.

did you watch that video below? i don’t know what it is about it, but it touches me beyond words. i don’t know why it makes me so sad, but there’s just something happy and sad about it. ultimately, i just think it’s fucking awesome. the cat, despite being all wild, still remembered the guys. that’s rad.

one of my core fears is that i will die alone. under that is that i will be abandoned or that i will essentially be forgotten. i don’t know how exactly that happened, but i’m sure it was some basic childhood thing. i hope that the core belief can get re-wired and be shaken off. cause really, that sort of thing is no good for me in life.

so. that’s random. kay.

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