i’m breaking my promise in that i told my friends i was just going to drop that and not post anything else. oh well, i fibbed.
so, i had this party tonight and it didn’t go exactly like i thought it would, but it was not at all disappointing. there was food and beverage and talking and laughing. we got going on ‘the book of questions,’ and it was a real fun time. nothing like getting a bunch of recovering alkies talking about deep subjects. it’s really a riot. seriously.
at one point (or seven), we got talking about religion and the bible and such things. my friend said that jesus was a ‘zombie jew carpenter’ because he told people to eat of him and then he reanimated from the dead. i thought that was fucking hysterical. really.
also, it turns out that apparently my friends see me as a non-christian, anti-bible type. i guess i don’t really talk about my pseudo-christian views, and i can’t TELL you the last time i picked up a bible. i have a lot of jewish friends, so they haven’t really been reading the new testament … mostly, ever. and we got into this big discussion about love and relationships and what it meant and what it didn’t, and i was talking about the fact that i haven’t really been able to capture ‘jesus love’ or something like that. the discussion progressed and i thought it would be good if people heard the bible’s definition of love.
so i went over to my bookcase, picked up my bible and went directly to 1 Corinthians. if you went to straight up christian church or gone to enough christian weddings, you know what i’m talking about. i think it enlightened some people to the level of love they’re talking about in that passage, but oddly enough, it also enlightened some people to the fact that i know my way around a bible. the thing is this: for 12 years (all through school), i went to sunday school every sunday. period. also, in high school i was best friends with someone who became a fundamentalist christian and i was extremely codependent, so i got a little more indoctrination, assembly of god style. i’m no stranger to a bible.
i don’t really talk about it much, because there’s not much need. my church is found in the rooms of AA … church basements and fellowship halls and school cafeterias. auditoriums and halfway houses and alano clubs. that’s where i get my church on and where i feel god in an impressive way. i feel all stifled and awkward and weird in ‘organized religion.’ i get these callings to jump up and give my own sermon (my parents would fucking KILL me). i’ve managed to keep those desires at bay.
sometimes, i’ve thought i’d make a good pastor. i get people telling me i’d be a good teacher. some say i’d be a good therapist. you all know i like to talk and give speeches. i love my higher power. i think that’d be a perfect combination of those skills, ey? who knows. maybe someday. we’ll see.
so, that’s that. i probably used up my nano time by doing this. lucky i started last night/morning, so i have SOME stuff logged in for 11/1. do you want to read the stuff i post? should i re-post it here? i won’t be offended if you all say no.
anyway, sweet dreams, kids. it’s fucking november.
the smussyolay 