i never thought such a control freak like myself would get bugged out by too many rules or directions or things to keep things ‘in order,’ but you know what? for fuck’s sake. people need to lighten up.

you know what people often say about insanity, right? that it’s doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results. and i keep going to this one meeting and thinking that it’s going to be different, and it never, ever is. and i don’t know why i keep thinking it’s going to be. and then i get fucking pissed and resentful and i want to punch things. for reals.

i’m beginning to think i’m supposed to be learning something HUGE. and i fucking hate it. god, quit fucking with me, mofo! quit making me learn stuff about my character defects. fuck. FUCK!

okay. that made me feel a little better.


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