sitting in this committee meeting. went to the chapel in the hospital beforehand and did myself some praying. good thing, too. it helped a lot. it never fails to amaze me that prayer helps. (man, every time i say shit like that, i’m afraid i’m going to come out sounding like a sarah palin or something. but the fact of the matter is, the literature i read as part of my recovery clearly states i should not apologize for having a god. so, fuck it, ey? part of my BIG problem in life is that i worry too much about what other people think of me anyway.)
what was really amazing was that i sat down and started writing (i write to pray, it helps my ADD brain really stay connected to my higher power as i understand/don’t understand/misunderstand he/she/it) and got a little ways into it and then this man came in and put down a prayer mat and started praying. i think he was muslim. he’d pray and then he’d get down on his knees and touch his head to the ground and i think he was facing east as well.
at one point, i could really feel god strongly in the room and i was so grateful to be praying with this man. i knew that we both had very different conceptions of our gods, but i knew we both had faith and that we both were having a very personal conversation with our god at the time. it was real cool. and it was something i couldn’t have planned if i had tried.
anyway, it helped me stay pretty calm tonight at this meeting versus last time, when i wanted to fucking lose my mind. YAY prayer.