why do people have car alarms anymore? i mean, when you hear one go off, do you even look around, anywhere? at anything? anyone? do you even assume that there is a crime going on except for the violent assault of noise pelting your ears?* does anyone even give a shit about these things except when they’ve gone off for far too long and you’re kind of drawn to want to commit bodily harm against whomever owns the effin’ car alarm?
i’m thinking that what we should have — that is, you, if you have a stylin’ car that might be stolen — is little shockers. little fences of electric current that if you actually do something to steal a car would give you a little buzz, ala that stephen colbert clip. enough to hurt you and stop you from giving it another go, but nothing to kill you.
yes. i know all the things wrong with this plan. it *would* end up killing someone. or people would be stupid enough and persistent enough to keep trying to get past the pain (an addict, i’m sure). what if you brushed up against it and it zapped you or an old person or a kid? so, i know it needs some major science work (bob, i’m looking at you, bro). but, it would be silent. and much better technology used on thieving shits then on wandering/barking dogs.
*the first time i took ecstacy (or ‘rolled’ as the kids say), i lost my mind and talked a fucking blue streak. well, not like that, exactly. but i couldn’t stop fucking talking. and my friend, jeff sx was there and wasn’t on the ex. at some point he had to go home. as he was leaving, going down the stairs, he turned around and said … “i gotta go! you’re pelting me with words!”
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