do you do his laundry?

so, i had my niece and nephew in town for the weekend. i think we had a great time. took them to american science and surplus (which was a selfish act, because i’ve been meaning to get up there myself). went to dulcelandia, this huge, awesome mexican candy store. went to see an imax movie. went in this cheesy funhouse at navy pier (i didn’t want to go and totally relented on that one … that was me being weak). took the el and a few buses various places. went to foodlife in water tower for lunch. window shopped the lego store and the sanrio (hello kitty!) store.

frankly, i spent way too much money and it was completely exhausting. i had no idea. walking here/there, trying to make sure i always had an eye on them, still screwing up from time to time with gregory going “where’s ashley?” after a minute or two had passed, and then me internally panicking and looking all around, wondering if i had screwed up in letting her explore some (she’s 10), and finding him standing next to her. he’s obviously a good big brother.

but, one thing i noticed is that between the both of them, they have some personality traits that are a little disturbing insofar as they seem to be fairly common in the world of AA. gregory is like me — a worrier. someone who tries to hide his feelings, stuff them in. someone who is always trying to make the best decision. someone who will put someone else’s needs above his own, even though he will regret it afterward or feel slightly remorseful/resentful. someone who will be in pain, but who won’t show it or will try to let it go unnoticed. unfortunately, he’s got an aunt who’s got his number.

my niece, ashley, has got another of her aunt’s brain tics. obsession of the mind. once that girl’s got something in her brain, she will *not* let it go. we colored eggs on saturday night after a long day of much walking and sightseeing and when we got home, we were all pretty cashed. but, from the moment we got home until we actually did the coloring, she couldn’t let that egg thing go. the other thing i found fascinating were all the questions about my roommate. we are pretty independent of one another. our main ‘together time’ is watching the daily show and the colbert report together. other than that, we pretty much come and go as we please.

hopefully, he’s all good with that, cause i am, and it seems to work out pretty well. if we need something, we ask the other, and i *think* it’s pretty coolio(1). but, it also means we don’t know a hell of a lot about one another (if he has a blog, i don’t know where it is). and ashley was obsessed with him. where is he? is he coming home? when? what does he do? do you do his laundry? does he like flan? will he be home when we get home? did he come home last night? and on and on and on. when he was home in the morning, i had him come introduce himself to them, just so they could know that YES, he was real, and … i don’t know what.

but the thing that really had my brain do the needle scratching all over the record was the ‘do you do his laundry?’ question. i was like … ‘no…!?’ does she think that because i’m a woman who lives with him? that must be it, right? gosh, that bugs the living shit out of me. first of all, i barely do my own, kid. secondly, aaauuugh! i told him this a little laughingly/a little despairingly, and he said, ‘that stuff is more pervasive than you think.’ and i thought, ‘no, i’m always the one telling people how pervasive it is, but when it comes out so directly like that, it’s chilling.’

in some ways, it’s great that this country has risen above some of its history and we are now facing a historic moment of having either a black man or a woman as one of our presidential candidates. on the other hand, it’s still a shame that that has to be historical in the first place.


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