cop out

Hi, my name is:
smussyolay

When I’m nervous:
i laugh.

By this time next year:
i will have a rough draft of a great book.

Last night I:
watched the packers lose to the giants. but i hung out with a friend of mine. i’d say ‘good,’ but more realistically i’ll say ‘complicated.’

PART 1: YOU
were you a planned baby?
yes? my mom had two miscarriages, but i was wanted.

Were you the first?:
yes.

PART 2: YOUR PERSONALITY
Do you have low self esteem?:
i don’t know. sometimes.

Do you get depressed about things easily?:
i don’t know. sometimes.

Are you happy right now?:
not really. there’s a lot i could be doing about it.

PART 3: APPEARANCE
Are you comfortable with the way you look?:
not really. there’s a lot i could be doing about it.

Describe your hair:
darkish. in need of a cut and about to change.

PART 4: RANDOM
Ever been kicked out of a bar?
no, i’m a low profile drunk.

Ever been arrested?
not yet.

PART 5: THE OUTDOORS
Do you prefer indoors or outdoors?:
outdoors when it’s summer.

Do you like walking in the rain?:
if it’s warm rain. and i don’t have anywhere to be.

Do you like thunderstorms?:
i love thunderstorms. especially when i don’t have anywhere to be.

PART 6: FOOD
Are you a vegetarian?:
no.

Anything you absolutely could eat forever?:
hmm. interesting. pizza comes to mind.

What is your favorite dessert?:
chocolate mousse.

PART 7: RELATIONSHIPS AND LOVE
Do you want to get married?:
i think so. but for the right reasons.

Have you ever been in love?:
yes.

PART 8: RANDOM QUESTIONS
Where is your cell phone?:
in the front pocket of my bag.

Cheesecake?:
no.

Your dream last night?
i remembered it when i woke up. part of it was sexual and it had to do with women. and part of it had to do with my apartment falling apart … the radiator or something.

Your favorite drink?:
a delicious lemonade.

Car you want?:
god. i want so many. a fast one. a fast sportscar. a porsche. for today.

Your fears?:
dying alone. never using my talents. forever disappointing my parents. drinking again.

Who are you hanging out with tonight?:
flan and jon stewart.

One of your wish list items?:
a mac laptop … i just saw the air thing. holy fuck!

Where did you grow up?:
wind lake, wi.

What are you wearing?:
north face hoodie, lemonheads t-shirt (old!), white long-sleeved undershirt, jeans, socks.

Tattoos?:
5 fish and 5 dots on my lower R leg. want so many more!

Ketchup?:
the exact right amount to dip fries in. no more, no less. not poured ON the fries. just next to. preferably on a separate dish. not on hamburgers or anything else. and hopefully, it will all be off the plate when all the fries are gone.

Your computer?:
is dead.

Your life?:
is in a painful state of transition.

Your friends?:
…..

What are you thinking about right now?:
that i need to get home and that it’s cold and snowing and that i wish i had a computer at home so i didn’t stay late at work not doing work doing this crap and what am i going to eat for dinner cause i haven’t really eaten anything today besides some almonds.

Your work?:
allowed me to see a baby being born real time.

Your summer?:
will be warm and long and happy, i hope.

Your favorite color(s)?:
blue. then green, then purple.

When is the last time you laughed?:
last night when i watched tivoed ‘american gladiators’ for the first time and got to see the eliminator for the first time and the people try and try to get up the treadmill at the end and by that time they are so fucking cashed they fall. and fall. and fall. a LOT. and i’m a bad person, and i laugh my ass off every time they fall on their faces.

Last time you cried?
saturday when i got frustrated over the way a friend was being.

Last received call?:
my friend who got a chance to call and fill me in on her brand new life.

Who knows the most about you?
jen, ann marie, chris. i don’t know. sometimes, i think no one knows anything about me and none of it matters or something.

Who do you blame for your mood today?
plaxico burris.

Have you ever seen a dead body?
yes, in caskets.

What should we do with stupid people?
love them.

What is making you sad right now?
blah.

What was the first thing you did this morning?
sat in front of a space heater trying to wake up. the *very* first thing i did was wake up and get flan some wet cat food and then went directly back to snoozeland.

Last person you went out to dinner with?
i can’t recall the last time i went out to real dinner. i sat at the bar of ‘the winds cafe’ in logan square on saturday night and shared an appetizer platter with jerry, lorena and omar.

Are you spoiled?
depends on how you look at it. not really, but in comparison to most people in the world, hell yeah.

Do you drink lots of water?
i want to.

What toothpaste do you use?
trying to finish off a stale ass tube of AIM.

How do you vent your anger?
depression.

The last compliment you received?:
…..

What did you do last weekend?
was at an AA convention; silently celebrated 6 years of sobriety.

When was the last time you threw up?
i think it was when i got food poisoning from campeche in wrigleyville. fuckers.

What theme does your room have?
cluttered.

Are you a mama’s child or a daddy’s child?
i don’t know that i like the tone of this question. but i definitely take after my father.

Would you ever join the military?
no.

Last website you visited?
uh, myspace, i guess. that’s where i got this. but i’m listening to pandora radio (thanks, dillan).

Who was the last person you took a picture with?
abby, i think. she wanted us to be in a picture together.

Last person you went to the movies with?
myself. juno.

What did you do / will you do for your birthday this year?
i have no clue. it’s coming up in march.

Number of layers on your bed?
there’s about 5 blankets.

Is anything alive in your room?
flan is a lot.

Today, would you rather go back a week or go forward a week?
i have no idea. stay right here for now.

What are you looking forward to right now?
eating.

IF YOU HAD TO:

If you HAD to get a tattoo, where would you want it?
i want another. i have several i want. i want some bees (5) with some flowers (5, with 5 petals) on my leg, i think. i also want a triquetra cross. i think i also want the skyline. and i want part of a beatles song.

If you HAD to dye your hair a color what color would it be?
i’m going back to blonde.

If you HAD to get a piercing (THAT ISN’T YOUR EARS) what would you get?
dude. i don’t know. i guess i’d get a mini nose piercing so i could put a tiny diamond in it.

If you HAD to change your name, what new name would you choose?
gwendolyn or danielle or elizabeth or julianne or fiona.

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