on the cusp

on the cusp of a new year. my head’s been swirling for a few days, as it always does this time of year since i don’t drink and my only thoughts aren’t of ‘what am i going to do for NYE?’ i’m not going to lie and say that i still don’t wonder what i’ll do for NYE, but it isn’t such a thought out processs — where we’ll go, who will be there, will we dose, who will get the drugs. instead, the introspective part of this extrovert kicks in double time and i’m left contemplating things like what happened this year, what might happen next year, the fact that it’s very near my sobriety anniversary, the fact that it’s the anniversary of my dad’s kidney transplant. now, i’ll have the fact that my best friend had a baby at this time of year. i think about things i did well, how i’ve changed and how i might like to change next year.

this year saw the pregnancies of what seemed like everyone! 2007 definitely produced a bumper crop of babies. from personal friends to friends of friends to everyone on the street, everyone seemed to be pregnant. i’m working with midwives. it’s the year of the baby. on the other end of the spectrum, my grandma died on 12/28of last year. it was definitely a year to contemplate life and death and all that it means to me. she’s been with me hardcore, and i’m truly blessed by the spiritual books of hers i was able to take.

personally, i don’t know. i’ve had a kind of crappy year. crappy stuff with relationships. crappy stuff with jobs. it’s nothing i didn’t help into being, but i don’t feel like i have a whole big ‘highlight’ reel to give you.

however, i have a lot of hope for 2008. i have paid $20 for three months of lap swimming at the park district. i am going on a ‘no refined sugar’ ban as of tomorrow. i have worked into my schedule one debtors anonymous, one alanon and one overeaters anonymous meeting a week. and they’re not all very convenient, thank you very much. i just want to be rid of all the things that are so nagging on me. the money crap. the food crap. the feeling like crap crap.

i’ll keep you all posted, i’m sure.
what about you guys? any highlights of last year? any hopes for next year?


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