i was really excited that ninja was coming into town. i was thinking of all the things we might talk about. i made a list, cause sometimes, when my friend, dillan, and i haven’t talked in awhile (and she and i live in the same town), we set up agenda points of things we want to cover. so i was thinking about some things i wanted to ask her and some things i might want to talk about.
and then this thought hit me: remember when we used to smoke? she used to smoke! it seemed almost improbable that this girl used to smoke. she was so good. i can’t remember her ever having a cigarette in her mouth. she was all arty and stuff, but she wasn’t arty back then. she was more shy and didn’t talk so much and hadn’t started painting and stuff yet. she just was more new to me and new as a friend and stuff. but she smoked! i guess. i don’t really remember it, to be honest.
it’s funny, cause we had other friends that smoked, too. and i don’t remember them smoking, either. they all seem like girls who would never smoke now, either. people who have good jobs and go to fancy colleges and such. or grad schools. people who have moved in with their boyfriends. i don’t know. i smoked too. i remember smoking. i remember smoking with dillan, actually. quite a bit. it just all seems like a distant memory now. which seems positively rifuckingdiculous, really. it was just the other day it seems. cause in this case, i didn’t do much to effect the change. truthfully, it was literally just the other day that someone offered me one, and i wanted to smoke it. i don’t get how all this stuff works.