fuck you, saw!

so, as many of you know i absolutely do NOT do violent movies. no how, no way. somehow, i got conned into seeing frailty and i don’t know how i ended up seeing requiem for a dream. just hearing about what happened in american history x was enough to haunt me, as well as movies like reservoir dogs and pulp fiction. but, i realize a lot of those have cinematic and thematic merit and i don’t begrudge anyone for digging on them.

however, i refuse to understand or condone this new wave of horror movies such as hostel and captivity and the saw movies. not one or two but three and now … four. the first commercial i saw was the other night and i KNEW i was fucked when i saw the screen go grainy and green and then i heard the voiceover … ‘if it’s halloween it has to be time for SAW’ or some shit. and then the scary mask thing. and i was like … NO. it doesn’t have to be time for saw. maybe a scary stephen king. what happened to him? fuckin’ a.

but … i got fucking PISSED last night. the same commercial started except it was super mega mini. and then it was right into an insurance commercial or something. i thought maybe it was a mistake. EXCEPT … right after the insurance commercial, it was right back into the scary mask. for another mini moment or two. and then right back into a chili’s commercial or something. and then finishing up with the rest of the tortur-y end of the original commercial. it was (1) subliminal advertising, i swear. it was so fucking creepy. I HATE YOU, SAW! I HATE YOU! it was so weird, because it was like a fucking mind game … like i assume saw does. i hate you.

except for my roommate said, “that mask isn’t scary. it looks like a muppet. i expect kermit the frog and miss piggy to come out.” i guess it’s just me.

(1) i was going to write it was “literally” subliminal advertising, and then i’ve been reading how everyone uses literally wrong. but wait. it nearly WAS subliminal advertising. that means it literally was subliminal advertising. it was what i say it was! fuckers.

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