i’m a ball of grrrr today. i just had a friend tell me she was going to be “switching up a few meetings (sponsor suggested).” i was nearly 99% positive what that meant … she was no longer going to attend my homegroup. i am so fking sick and tired of people in a certain sponsorship realm telling their sponsees not to go to my homegroup.
here are the reasons i hear:
because it’s like high school.
because it’s only a “social” meeting.
because of the gossip.
because people go there to find boys/girls.
who the fuck knows. the group that i’ve designated my ‘homegroup’ (1) is a ‘young people’s’ meeting (no age requirement/limit, but known for its preponderance of people who got and are getting sober ‘young’) where we read out of the basic text of AA every week and comment on it.
it’s a largeish meeting — from 80 to 150 people go there. it’s where i learned about service, commitment, the book, sponsorship and fellowship. it’s *not* just a social meeting — at least no more so than any other meetings i go to. especially the ones where the large faction of YPBB (young people’s big book) naysayers come from … where the same people are hooking up with one another (there are plenty of pregnancies to show for it), gossiping their asses off and where they don’t even *read* from the book at the meeting, much less abide by it (2).
it drives me crazy that people openly badmouth the meeting and *direct*/*suggest* that their sponsees don’t attend. so much for the first tradition of AA, which states that AA unity is paramount to AAs survival. that without the common welfare of us all, we stand in danger of perishing alone. i used to rip the ‘no-meds’ meetings. i keep my mouth shut and don’t tell individuals NOT to attend, or give them my personal opinion about certain ones. i give my personal opinion with being a stabilized manic-depressive alcoholic, but i never tell anyone “don’t go THERE” anymore.
i love my homegroup. it’s taught me a lot and been the mainstay of my sobriety. it’s why it hurts me to hear it get knocked down in any way. i’m sure i’m taking it more personally today because i’m in a bad mood. but, i also know that anything that someone is running from by not going to YPBB is going to follow them. their lust issues, their distraction issues, their need to control things. and i hate to see people leave something that is a good thing because someone else has told them it’s not a good thing anymore.
(1) here are the details that make up the definition of a ‘homegroup’ to me: a group i attend come hell or highwater every week. a place i have a service commitment. a place that has a tie to general/area service. a place where i can find fellowship. a place where the majority of the members work out of the big book of alcoholics anonymous and believe in sponsorship from that book. a place where i will be missed if i start not showing up.
(2) there’s a contingency of people in chicago who believe you’re not “sober” if you take psychotropics for a mental illness. who have told other struggling newcomers they would not sponsor them if they didn’t choose to get off their meds (some to fking disastrous results, btw). who refuse to acknowledge the part(s) of the basic text that acknowledge very openly that we are grateful for and cooperate with the men of medicine that god has so freely given us. as far as i’m concerned, if it’s not in the book, it’s not AA.