i cracked myself up so bad last night

so bad. i’m wondering if my roommate thought that i 1. finally went totally insane and/or 2. was crying at points. i could NOT stop laughing. i was fucking hysterical, and i’m starting to laugh again just thinking about it.

okay. for some of you who might not know, i’m fascinated by mini horses. i searched the blog only to find i have only talked about them once? they have come up a lot in my life since i learned about them (oh, has anyone been noticing how much the word ‘transparent’ is being used these days?). it started with my friend, james, bringing it up one time. that he saw a baby mini horse. what? i never even knew there were such things, much less mini mini horses*.

i then brought the subject up to a bunch of my alkie chums, and one of them said she used to … ?? raise mini horses or go to a stable with a bunch of them or something like that. she totally knew about mini horses and i guess has pictures to show sometimes, too. this was flabbergasting. a mini horse? what the hell was that all about?

i was so fascinated/taken aback by the concept that i went on several rants that year about the idea. to the point where it was an inside joke between a lot of us.

okay. hang on to that info for a second.

last sunday, i went to a birthday party for a friend and as i was in close range of the wilson skate park, i heard this guy introducing all these famous (?) bmx riders and skateboarders. i mentioned this to my friend when i got back to where they were and he said, “were rob and big there?” i had no idea who the hell that was, so it was lost on me.

until last night. i’m flipping channels and i see that there is a show called “rob and big” on MTV. i go to it, and i still have no clue who these dudes are, but i start watching. guess what? rob has a mini horse. and his “personal assistant” — his cousin, who they call “drama” (that’s funny, people), was supposed to hire a horse trainer cause the horse is a little feisty. well, most of the ep is about how drama is a total slackadaisical mess up and at one point, big talks about the concept of waivers** in sports. drama gets put on waivers.

however, at one point, to show the feistiness of this horse (whose name is “mini horse”), they all get into the corral with him and he starts charging them and trying to bite them. and rob is pissed that drama hasn’t done anything about this. and he says, “i asked this dude to get a horse trainer in here like 2 weeks ago; now i have an aggressive mini horse that i’m scared of.” and i lose my mind. totally go off my rocker. cause i think about how much i love mini horses and how this horse is a little berserk. but the phrase “aggressive mini horse” was just too much. and the sincerity of how he said it. for fuck’s sake. and the idea that he was scared of this mini horse … but it makes sense. picture a great dane that’s getting a little bite-y. yeah, i’d be freaked, too. the horse trainer that he got in about five minutes by googling one, told him not to feed him by hand (he’d be looking to be more mouthy then) and that his horse was treating him like a ‘horse playmate.’ later in the ep, he goes over to her house and their horses play together.

however, for some reason, i just lose it. i’m thinking maybe i needed a good cry and i took a great laugh instead. because once i started, i just could. not. stop. i was in full hysterics (again, i’m starting to chuckle just thinking about it). this was the funniest thing ever. i don’t know why, but it was. i wish you could have been there. it was the idea of being scared by “an aggressive mini horse,” and the fact that i have a minor obsession with mini horses that just took me over the edge.

oh, and for the record, rob is a famous skateboarder and big is his bodyguard. okay. can’t figure out how or why they got a reality show on MTV, but i was grateful for the show i saw last night.

* mini-ness. i love all things mini. seriously. if you mini-ize, i will swoon like a woman listening to a british/scottish/irish accent. swear.

**waivers. apparently, if you’re fucking up on a sports team, they can put you on waivers. and if you keep it up, they sign the waiver, and you get booted/fired. i never knew exactly what that meant or how it worked. learn something new every day.


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