in the salsa aisle

freedom rings to be jerky —

guy: how much do you really care about these people?
girl: very little.

she reaches over and decides to pick up the jewel salsa instead (they were a dollar a piece!)

i literally slapped my knee and laughed. and wrote this down.

and then she says: something something you’re mean.

ha. busted.

i find this funny/weird/rude for several reasons.

1. does how much you know someone/care about them get reflected in what kind of salsa you buy them? more importantly, or the real question is, does what kind of salsa you buy show how much you really care about someone? seriously. i guess i’m a different kind of selfish asshole, but i always bring things to a party that *i’d* like to eat/drink. unless it’s something i specifically know is a favorite of the host, something they’ve requested me to bring, or something i’ve offered to bring, i bring something i would also enjoy. so, if i’m bringing a salsa, it’s going to be something i enjoy. which brings me to point number two.

2. i had already picked out/was planning to buy two jars of the jewel salsa. why? because unless you’re a freak for a certain brand, must always buy or make fresh (i hate cilantro, actually, so most of those i’d actually rather stay away from), or have some real need to spend six bucks on a jar of salsa, i kind of think they all taste the same. and since i’m all lowbrow and would rather eat a jar of tostitos or chi-chis ANYWAY, why not jewel? for a dollar!? sometimes i’ll make a small meal out of chips and salsa, yo! not to mention, a reasonable amount of salsa on weight watchers (i’m not doing that right now, but i’ve never forgotten this) is … ZERO points. sweet.

3. combining one and two … if they were close friends, were they going to hand pick a jar of paul newman’s or go to the deli? it just seemed hilarious to make some sort of salsa value judgment based on how well they knew or “how much they cared” about the people they were going to hang out with. classic. i’m not saying i’d never bring a super nice bottle of wine to someone’s house to impress them in the old days, but i never looked at jeff and said, “oh, we don’t give a fuck about these people. just grab a bottle of sutter home white zin*.” generally, i try to be who i am wherever i am. i know i fail, but i try.

*i try to follow the policy that i try to follow on music. if you like it, you like it. it’s good to you. but i did drink wine for awhile and came to enjoy learning about it and whatnot, and i know that white zinfandel isn’t really super fancy/classy wine. it’s a beginner’s wine, to be sure. again, it’s not to say if there was nothing around and it was in the fridge that i was drinking water. cause … i wasn’t. i’m a drunkie, people. but, just like “wannabe” (if you wanna be my lover) is really nothing i would choose to listen to, white zinfandel is nothing i would go out of my way to drink. i know there are really good french roses and stuff, but sutter home white zinfandel isn’t one of them.


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