#40 Blame It On The Rain, Milli Vanilli
okay. this is the god’s honest truth: i hated this song when it came out. and this had nothing to do with any potential lip sync scandal* or discriminating taste. as we’ll see as i go through these songs, there’s plenty of schlock i absolutely love. but this song just sucks.
music-wise, the beginning verses are just too slow, long and boring. then the chorus isn’t much different from the verses, tempo wise. i’m not a great music major, but the whole song sort of seems like it’s in this weird minor-y key. not to mention it sounds like it’s all being played on that fisher-price xylophone. (the good, real one we had as kids.) and then after the horrible key change (FP xylophone style), there’s this breakdown with synth handclaps! my god. put the fucking synthesizers down.
as far as the lyrics go? it seems that this guy (?) breaks up with someone pretty arbitrarily and then his buddy (?) tells him, hey. you know what? just blame it on the rain that was falling that day. shit, blame it on the stars that shine at night. WHAT? you had a weather induced psychosis? blame it on dave schwartz and the weather channel? cause apparently you have to ‘blame it on something,’ and the ‘rain don’t care.’ okay.
sucks sucks sucks. i knew it sucked then, and it sucks now. this was one of those songs that when it came on the radio when i was driving with my parents was such a ballbuster. i fucking hated it, so i kind of wanted to tell my parents (read: my dad) to turn the station. but if he turned the station, i might never get the chance to have ‘KTI back on. but, if i said nothing and he left it on and then HE saw what a shit song it was and then bitched about what crap music the kids were listening to these days and turned the station, i might never get the chance to have my station back on. it was always a pray and see sitch where i just hoped no one would notice how horrible the song was. AND that i wouldn’t be punished by a commercial right after.
*speaking of lip synching, my dad always got some perverse pleasure out of coming into the livingroom as he and my mom were getting ready on saturday nights and announcing about the performers on solid gold, “they’re totally not singing.” as an 8-12 yr. old, i don’t know that i was able to finesse such things yet, and i wouldn’t have noticed this until he said so. then, the illusion was always ruined. this was also the show when i realized the word queer didn’t just mean strange when he walked in and said about boy george: ‘that guy’s as queer as a 3 dollar bill.’