i’m asking for trouble with that subject line, in case he’s googling himself, but what the hell do i care at this point? so… first “crush.”
his name was brett fahning. his dad was one of the guidance counselors at my middle school. he had an older brother, todd, but i didn’t have any real knowledge of him. also, there was some rumor or something about his dad ending up dating one of the science teachers or something, but whatever.
so, i don’t know what it was about brett that made me have a crush on him. what i remember is that he was very funny and that he was good looking. he wasn’t a big jock or anything.
one stupid incident that i recall was that he was playing with one of those weird sticky things that you throw at a wall (those gross green things that will conceivably stick on the wall if you throw it there? but that get all lint-y and stuff really quick if you drop them on the floor or something?) and he was whipping it around and he totally hit me in the eye with it. and it hurt like a motherfucker, but of course i was already a lame nerd and shit and so…what was i going to do? cry and bawl? no. i couldn’t help that my eye was totally tearing up, i mean that was just a physical reaction beyond my control. but he was fairly apologetic, and i was just humiliated.
this was the extent of my contact with brett fahning. swear. he was “popular” and i was not. i went to dances and stuff in middle school, but no one ever asked me to dance, and i wasn’t going to ask anyone. however, in true pining fashion, i proceeded to have a crush on brett fahning all throughout middle school. three fucking years.
the classic moment of the whole thing is me, every friday night, listening to “love notes” on WMYX in milwaukee. the DJ was “jim moralis” (i think). deep voiced and setting up your romantic needs, he read dedications and messages before playing the wonderful 80’s schlock of my youth. whitney houston’s “all at once.” richard marx’s “endless summer nights.” a variety of peter cetera fronted chicago hits. and one night, i got up the nerve to call jim moralis and make a request. i have it on tape somewhere (because you sat and taped shit off the radio with a tape recorder) — jim says: “the note reads — to brett, *******, signed, jocelyn.”
(*******i can’t remember what the fuck the note says. i could pull out the tape and embarrass myself and tell you. i should probably do the research, hey?)
but the kicker… the song that i requested?? “hello” by lionel richie.
swear to god. i’m sure he never heard it. i was at home listening to “love songs” and i’m sure he was having a normal teenage life going to the movies and making out with people and stuff.
so. my first crush. brett fahning. he went on to marry pauline nowak, pete nowak’s sister, i think. which always seemed kind of strange. it seemed so random. i hope they are happy and everything.
***UPDATE 11/7/2013 — in referencing this post for something else, i asked my sister if brett was married to pauline — NOPE, it was his brother, todd. so there ya go.